It's that time of year again - Valentine's Day. It's the day when anyone who sells flowers or chocolates gets to make a killing and the rest of us, if we're playing the game, get sucked into the expensive vortex.
However if you're single Valentine's Day can be a bit of a pain in the neck. I've posted about this a couple of times over the years.
So here's my updated list of things to do on Valentine's Day if you're single:
- Watch TV on your tablet while soaking in a nice hot bath. A nice glass of wine might work well, though I'd avoid the heavier stuff or you'll literally drown yourself. Being single might not be fun, but it's not all that bad.
- Read a book ideally one printed on paper (it's a more enjoyable experience)
- Play death metal (or whatever you're into) at full volume while cooking yourself a rather decadent and self-indulgent dinner. Washing it down with more of the wine from your earlier bath might not be a bad idea. As you're no longer in water it's safe to drink harder liquor if you really want.
- Enjoy being able to fart loudly in your bed. Remind yourself how you'd have to be much quieter and considerate if you were sharing it (unless of course your relationship has evolved to the point where there's no real mystery left.. )
- Pick your nose (see previous point about farting - same concept applies)
- Go out with your single friends and drink too much
- Fly to a different timezone and miss most of the day - it'll help you avoid the rather unctuous Valentine's stuff that friends and colleagues will be sharing
- Treat yourself to a smart home assistant - it might not be warm and cuddly, but it'll give you someone to talk to
- Go out to the bars later in the evening when the couples have already retired and pick up a singletons drowning their sorrows
- Overload on violent and other distracting shows or movies on Netflix or any other streaming service