Anyone who wants to master the art of euphemism should spend time with an auctioneer, or just perusing listings of houses for sale.
While I might expect someone to “upsell” a house’s assets, some of the adverts are either written “tongue in cheek” or by someone with a very weird view of reality.
This one amused me:
Uninhabited for a number of years this detached cottage residence is in need of renovation & refurbishment.
Okay you don’t expect it to be a palace, but “renovation” and “refurbishment” suggest “overhaul” to me NOT complete reconstruction!
Renovation and refurbishment is a bit much there, sure that’s just a handyman’s dream right there.
What really gets me is when people are selling a derelict building that only has 3 walls, no roof and a tree growing out of the middle of it they still have the cheek to describe it’s layout, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen etc. I’m pretty sure when there is a tree growing through a building your main concern isn’t whether the toilet still flushes.
Sure a new roof and a lick of paint its good as new.
Are you bidding for it Michele?
@Donn – I wouldn’t be adverse to doing some work on a house to make it “mine”, but the trees would have to go 🙂
@Gavin – I’m not bidding on anything at the moment. I’m trying to see what’s available and what is affordable.
‘uninhabitated’, that just sounds spooky to me! Could it be haunted?
It’s like “they dance around the ring and suppose, but the secret lies in the middle and knows”!:) Darn right it’s in need of an overhaul. You would probably need to knock it and build from scratch!
Looks like it still has its original fireplace, surely a feature well worth paying for.
How much was this palatial home anyway?
Jennifer
It still has its original chimney. I’m half tempted to drive over there to see if the fireplace is still there 🙂
The guide price was EUR100k
Michele