I get a lot of deliveries to the office. A lot of the time it’s simply because my name is on a supplier account, so the package arrives. Is checked and gets handed over to one of our staff.
Of course I also get deliveries from Amazon and other places.
Yesterday’s delivery was a bit “different”
A white body bag.
The problem now is, what the hell do I do with it?
While some of my staff are annoying at times, I haven’t actually killed any of them *yet*. Besides, if I was going to kill any of my staff I’d want quick lime – not a body bag.
So does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do with it?
It seems like a waste letting it gather dust!
Store it in a safe place for now and bide your time, as it’s unlikely that you won’t kill someone (whether accidentally or in a premeditated fashion) over your own lifetime.
Having the body bag to hand in your hotpress, or wherever, will be invaluable at that time, and can hasten the tidy disposal of the body.
A small thing like this can mean the difference between getting clean away or being caught by the police.
Good luck!
A giant water balloon!
See who you can talk into the bag. Your own Darwin Awards experiment so to speak, plus they’re already in the bag so clean up should be a doddle 😛
You help us, we’ll help you!
First, you have to explain the background to receiving a body bag in a delivery.
I was going to ask was this an intended purchase, or was someone trying to send you a subtle message, but I’m not sure I want to know now!
As for what to do with it, well if a particular client isn’t paying up, you can always forward it on (anonymously, of course; just with an accidental Blacknight sticker left in the bag).
That, or fill it up with cupcakes for the Irish Web Awards (or delivery to me).
Can you put a hole in the top and a coat hanger inside? You can then use it as a suit carrier to take on plane journeys. Rolled up it will fit in the overhead locker. It will be a make for a good talking point and then if the plane crashes, you are all sorted!
Put soil in it and make a Tomato bed out of it! 🙂
Stuff a large duvet into it and put it in your boot.
Park in a busy shopping centre and look very nervous as you transfer it to the boot of an accomplice’s car.
Repeat at other locations until surrounded by the Emergency Response Unit. Tip: Stop on first sighting the ERU – they have a tendency to shoot people.